Questions & Answers:
Sex & Lust Department
Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking
behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy
or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed
in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of
other SHPM staff.
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of your own.
How does a woman know when she is having an orgasm?
Women's orgasmic pleasure can vary from mild to intense. There is a
gradual build up of tension from 1.) arousal to 2.) increased tension to 3.)
the release of that tension 4.) culminating in orgasm. During orgasm the
muscles of the vagina, anal region and uterus contract providing waves of
pleasurable feeling. Some women groan or cry out expressing pleasure
through sound during the release of the built up tension. It's not uncommon for
some women to laugh or cry after orgasm.
If the contractions are mild or brief you might question if you really
experienced an orgasm. Some texts cite only 4 to 6 contractions for young
women which lessen in number with the aging process. This number seems low
to me, but obviously varies from woman to woman.
You can teach your partner to slow down in order to allow the tension to
mount so you'll have a stronger orgasm. You might find it helpful to
masturbate to orgasm so you'll learn what to expect. Most people have
stronger orgasms when they masturbate. I recommend Lonnie Barbach's book,
For Ourselves, which gives instructions on how to bring yourself to orgasm.
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