Making Your Marriage Work: Part 2
Psychologist, Dr. Judith S. Wallerstein, co-author of The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts, identified nine "psychological tasks" as the pillars on which any marital relationship rests:
Communication SkillsBeing able to communicate is one of the greatest assets in any relationship. Being able to articulate your thoughts and being certain that the listener understands what you wish to say take considerable practice. Often we believe we are saying one thing, while the listener is hearing something entirely different. The listener often is responding to either what they believed you to say or their own interpretation. Communication requires both good transmission skills (articulation) and good receptive skills (listening). Without both, communication will be at best difficult. The next time you want to discuss something important with your spouse, follow the following steps:
This approach, often referred to as "active listening," once learned can prevent misunderstandings and serve to keep emotions under control. It is difficult to react emotionally if you are truly listening and have to communicate understanding before you get a chance to react.Part 3 of this series, Making Your Marriage Work, offers additional techniques and suggestions for increasing the probability of maintaining a long-term intimate relationship.
Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus
is a Licensed Psychologist, Licensed Marriage, Family, & Child
Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Group Psychotherapist. He
practices individual, group, marital and sex therapy, career counseling and
divorce mediation in Santa Monica, CA. His book, Someone Right For You, is
available through the Amazing Bookstore Catalog.
Amazing Bookstore Catalog!
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