Expectation in Relationship

by Susan Kramer


Expecting ourselves
to be loving and caring in our relationship -
preserving our inner harmony -
allowing us to remain happy!


What we can expect in a relationship is to have a mutual sharing of caring love. We should expect of ourselves, that we need to share our love in a caring manner.  What we can not expect in a relationship is to determine how, and in what manner, our partner will share their love with us.

We are in charge of determining the method of carrying out our own actions. And, our partner is in charge of determining the method of carrying out their own actions. 

When we are only in a relationship with ourselves, we determine our actions, and as long as we are acting for the best of each situation that we are in, the method of acting remains wholly with us.

When we have a partner, we need to take into consideration how our actions will impact our relationship.  If we are acting for the highest good of the situation, we are acting as we should in our relationship -- whether or not our partner accepts or rejects our ways and means. 

Acting for the highest good of the situation in the relationship allows our body to stay relaxed and allows us to retain our peace of mind.

Each person is the compilation and product of their past history.  Along the way, we each learn by trial and error how to get our needs and desires fulfilled -- it has been an individual path to this point in time for each of us.  We cannot expect another person's means of expression and action to be identical to our own methods -- they have gone through a different "school of life." 

We can request and make our relationship needs and desires known to our partner, but the exact method our partner uses to show us their caringness is completely their determination, which will be based on the compilation of their life experiences.

In relationship or not, we cannot expect another person to give us happiness or any form of fulfillment. Our personal happiness is our state of being when we are thinking and acting in harmony and lovingly with the highest good of each situation, moment to moment to moment.

The expectation of getting happiness from a partner is a selfish attitude that precludes our personal happiness.  When we act selfishly we act without regard for the highest good of the situation.  Selfishness is isolation in action.  Truly, no person is so independent on this planet that they can survive without using something that another has had a hand in providing.

The expectation that our partner will provide our personal happiness is never possible.  The attitude and actions of selfishness  -- getting or taking from another for self-gratification is contradictory to living for the highest good of the whole situation. Harmonizing our attitudes, thoughts and actions with the highest good, ongoingly, is really what produces our feelings of happiness, ongoingly.


The author, Susan Kramer raised alongside the Chesapeake Bay during the 1950's and 60's with earlier careers as a classical ballet dancer, abstract color constructionist, and designer the past 15 years writing over 500 practical essays on growth in personal and universal consciousness messages: 805/685-7266

To buy a book on this and other topics, drop into the
Amazing Bookstore Catalog!

Want to comment? Express Yourself!


What's Hot !
About SH&P | Articles | Advertise | Classifieds
Dear SH&P | Discussion Zone | FAQ | Kids Korner | Resources | Meditation
Post Cards | Professional | PsychToons | Reviews | Staff | Search | Submissions