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Question

There's a guy who likes me over the net. He asked me to be his girl over the net. I said yes. But I don't know if I should have done that ... how would a relationship work over the net?

Answer

You bring up a very good point: it is often difficult to know exactly what someone means online. A good way to approach a question like this is to ask a few questions in your response. Try and understand exactly what someone means when using terms that have a meaning offline, but are difficult to enact from a geographically different location, through the Internet.

You might enjoy the freedom of asking as many questions as occur to you, as well as learn how the other person answers. If you follow someone's line of thinking, you can see if they are telling the truth as well. If you find inconsistencies, ask about them, too. See what kind of answers you get -- open minded, open-hearted, or closed, critical, negative responses that make you reluctant to ask more questions.

In this case, tell your online boyfriend of your second thoughts, and ask your questions freely. Find out what he meant, and what he thinks your agreement means. Our ability to ask and answer questions is one of the many advantages of the net -- it forces people to talk about things they never would discuss f2f. If he doesn't like it and thinks you ought to know what he meant by being his "girl over the net," he is being unrealistic.

01/09/99