QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Dreams Department

Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I had a dream where I went on a trip and came back to find by my boyfriend and best friend in bed together. In the dream they told me they were just keeping the bed warm for me and we all went out to a restaurant together.
Do you think I should be watching out for this to really happen?

Answer

Only the dreamer can know the final meaning of a dream, but if this were my dream there are some useful questions I could ask myself:

1. How likely is this to be literally true?
If it is likely, I would confront my lover, not by saying I had caught him in a dream, but that I had a dream about it and tell the lover my fears.

2. If its *not* likely, I would see the people in the dreams as parts of myself and ask:
What are a few characteristics of my lover (strong, willful, sleazy, etc.)? and a few characteristics of my friend?

Can I find these characteristic in myself?

When I "go on a trip", what does this mean?

Let's say as one option that it means to me that I usually keep these characteristics apart in myself, but when I do something that doesn't require these characteristics, when I go on a trip, they get together - they join. In waking life this may not be something I want to happen, but now I have a choice in my inner world of combining two characteristics I don't usually allow to come together.

Is this something I want or don't want?

Now your dream has become a very useful tool for me to combine and play with new values in myself. Thanks, and hope you get as much from it as well!

2/19/98

Richard Wilkerson is general editor for The Internet Dream E-zine, Electric Dreams, and director of DreamGate, the Internet Communications and Dream Education Center. He writes the Cyberphile column for the Association for the Study of Dreams Newsletter.

 

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