I am an adult child of homosexual parents. I'm gay too, but married
and trying to fake it. My father knew he was gay before his marriage,
but was told by a psychiatrist to get married. He had an affair with
a male friend while he was married to my mother, and came out of the
closet when I was about 21 years old. That's when my parents got divorced.
My mother is a lesbian, but still in the closet despite a series of
relationships with women since the divorce.
It feels awfully lonely in this spot. Can you direct me to resources
related to this type of situation? I'd also like to communicate with
others from similar situations. Thanks for your help.
My heart goes out to you--you sound like
you're in considerable pain. It makes sense that you're "faking it."
After all, that's what both your parents did.
I suggest you look for two kinds of
resources: (1) those for people who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual and are or
have been heterosexually married; and (2) resources for children of lesbian,
gay, and bisexual parents. PFLAG (Parents, Families and
Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is one good starting place. Many of their local
chapters have groups or other services for people in your situation. You can
reach their national headquarters at PFLAGNTL@aol.com.
You might also contact Children of
Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) at firstname.lastname@example.org, or the Gay
and Lesbian Parents Coalition International at email@example.com.
Author and psychologist Gail S. Bernstein,
Ph.D. has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks
and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional
audiences, and is the author of the new audiotape, NOT
HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.