I came out to myself about a year ago at the ripe old age of 32 and am still trying to figure
out men's relationships. I was heterosexually married for a while and dated women before that. My
relationships with men seem different somehow. Don't get me wrong. I love men! But I get confused
about how to act with them. What do you recommend?
Sounds like you're on the right track. It's true that gay men's relationships do differ in some important ways from
heterosexual and lesbian couples. Have you talked with friends about your questions? That might be a good way to
start. Also, I recommend a book called Intimacy Between Men: How to Find and Keep Gay Love Relationships, by
John H. Driggs, M.S.W. and Stephen E. Finn, Ph.D., published by Plume. They do a nice job of describing many
common issues faced by gay men.
Author and psychologist Gail S. Bernstein,
Ph.D. has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks
and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional
audiences, and is the author of the new audiotape, NOT
HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.