I'm a bisexual woman who is happily married to a man. He worries
that I'll run off and leave him for a woman, even though I've been faithful
to him for over ten years. I dated both men and women before we got married
and still occasionally feel attracted to other people, but I take my
marriage vows very seriously. I don't see that my passing attractions for
others, male or female, are any different than my husband's passing
attractions for other women. Neither of us acts on those feelings, and
that's what's important. How can I help him stop worrying?
The reality is that bisexual people are just as capable of being
monogamous as heterosexual or gay or lesbian people. However, one of the
many myths our culture perpetuates is the myth that bisexual, lesbian and
gay people are all sex-crazed and unable to control their impulses. Your
husband's worries may be related to that myth, and to lack of information.
If you don't know other bisexual people, you may want to find out if there
are any bisexual organizations in your area that can provide information
and support. One good book on the topic is Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual
People Speak Out, edited by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu. You may
also find useful information at the
Options home page - http://www.bisexual.org/. Hope this is helpful.
Author and psychologist Gail S. Bernstein,
Ph.D. has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks
and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional
audiences, and is the author of the new audiotape, NOT
HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.