QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
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behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy
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I have cheated twice on my boyfriend of four years. I have fallen in love with the other
guy, but he is in a relationship. I think I love my boyfriend. He does not tell
people he has a girlfriend, but when we are together just the two of us, everything
seems all right. I don't know if I love him or whether I am just afraid to let him go.
The fact that you have cheated on your boyfriend and that he does
not publicly acknowledge that you are his girlfriend, suggests that neither
of you are committed to this relationship. It sounds more like you are
convenient to one another, like a security blanket. It's nice to know that
it is there. You might want to consider learning how to live on your own.
Otherwise, you are likely to find yourself in unhealthy relationships and have
difficulty getting out soon enough. The best relationships are those based on
friendship between two independent people. These relationships are
not based on dependence or fear. Rather they are based on mutual respect,
affection, commitment, communication, and love. Your current relationship
seems to lack many of these attributes.
Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist,
Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing
psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years.
He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation,
couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and
assessment.His book, Someone Right For You, is available in the Amazing
Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.