My husband had an affair for the past 3 months. We have 3 children
and have been married for 8 years. He admits to the affair and said that
he has stopped it and wants to rebuild our relationship. I feel so
disappointed and shaken that I am afraid to put any trust in his actions.
What do I do?
I can understand that you feel disappointed and possibly angry for your
husband's behavior. Affairs are usually a sign of a relationship that
has been in trouble for a while. Usually, at least one member of the
couple feels non related to, not appreciated and possibly physically and
emotionally abandoned. Once you have had time to vent your anger and dismay,
it is important for you and your husband to take an inventory of your
relationship and determine your mutual needs and how you as individuals and
a couple can take responsibility to nurture yourselves and each other, so the
relationship can sustain differences and work thru problems rather than one
or both of you running to another.
Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist
practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years. She is a Diplomat
in Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association and an Approved
Supervisor of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Pitta
is also the President of the Long Island Association of Marriage and Family
She has created a treatment modality that enables the partners to accept
responsibility for their parts in relationship problems leading to resolution
of issues without getting stuck in blame. She encourages self growth which
enhances couple growth and family development.