I'm a 42 year old divorcee and have begun to date. Within the first
or second date, the men bring up sex and even make insistent passes. I
speak to friends and other single women and men and they indicate that it
is not unusual to have sex on the 1st or 2nd date. I feel overwhelmed
and uncomfortable with knowing someone such a short time to begin a sexual
You are the captain of your ship! If you don't feel comfortable, don't
begin a sexual relationship. Remember that your feelings of being
overwhelmed is a warning and danger sign
that you need to be true to yourself. Some people can not, or choose not,
to control their sexual impulses and need to express them immediately.
You do not have to follow this route. When in Rome, don't do as the Romans
do, unless you feel comfortable.
Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist
practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years. She is a Diplomat
in Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association and an Approved
Supervisor of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Pitta
is also the President of the Long Island Association of Marriage and Family
She has created a treatment modality that enables the partners to accept
responsibility for their parts in relationship problems leading to resolution
of issues without getting stuck in blame. She encourages self growth which
enhances couple growth and family development.