I dated a guy a few times and it didn't work out. I have tried to
re-establish contact on a few occasions to no avail. Each time I get to the
point of giving up altogether, I have a dream that we are
together...intimately. What is this about?
There are two parts to this question. One has to do with the meaning
of dream and the other has to do with the difficulty you seem to have giving
up on a relationship that has ended.
Dreams serve several purposes. First, they serve to preserve the sleep
state. We dream of a telephone ringing and then awaken to the phone ringing.
The dream incorporates the reality in order to help us continue to sleep.
Second, the dream can express some form of wish fulfillment. Often we
dream of things we wished would have happened or we would like to have happen. Third,
the dream can express what psychologists call "day residue." That is, it
becomes a conglomeration of events that occurred during the course of the day
that we have not completely absorbed into our conscious mind. And fourth,
the dreams can express feelings that we might find unacceptable in conscious
life. Dreams are often expressed in symbols, which need to be interpreted in
the context of an individual's life. That's why psychoanalytically oriented
practitioners use free associations to uncover the meaning of dreams, Gestalt
therapists use role playing to the different aspects of the dreams, and
Jungians look for archetypes (universal symbols) in addition to the symbols
relevant to each individual dreamer.
It is difficult to interpret a dream without having more information about
the dreamer and the overall context in which the dream occurred. Given
that caveat, your dream may represent an attempt to complete that which you
would like to have occurred in reality. Perhaps you have either a sexual
desire to be with this man or a desire to use sexuality as way of seducing
him back into a relationship with you. For some reason you are incomplete
with him. I wonder whether you could look into yourself to see what the
ending of this relationship or the manner in which it ended represented to
you. The meaning of dream lies within the dreamer.
Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist,
Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing
psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years.
He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation,
couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and
assessment.His book, Someone Right For You, is available in the Amazing
Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.